Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond & Support for Mamas on Bedrest, thru post partum.

9 Ways a Mama on Bed Rest can Say “I Love You!” this V-Day

Let’s face it, bed rest is a killer to your love life. All month I have been offering ways for you and your partner to “Keep the Love Alive”. Now here we are, just a few days from Valentine’s Day,  and you may be thinking, “Shoot, I’m stuck here on bed rest. How can I make this day special?”

Well, I’m glad that you asked. Sitting over breakfast I too was thinking of how to make this a special day for my own “hunny bunny”. As per usual, I am running late for the train, so I was thinking of things that I could order for quick delivery. So here are 9 ideas that I came up with over my breakfast taco and chai tea. If you use one for your “hunny” send a comment and let me know how it turned out!!

9 Valentine Ideas for Mamas on Bedrest to share with their partners

1. Send flowers. Yeah, kinda screams “I forgot” but at least you remembered in time to order something.
2. Edible Arrangement. The company that bears the name will deliver a beautiful arrangement composed of fruit. If you choose certain arrangements, you can have chocolate dipped fruit (strawberries, bananas, etc…) or hunks of chocolate on skewers added to the arrangements. www.ediblearrangements.com
3. Luv’s Brownies. I add this one because it belongs to a friend out in my beloved San Jose, CA. Aundrea Lacey is the owner and founder of Luv’s brownies (www.luvsbrownies.com) and has taken brownies to another level. You can order brownie cakes, brownies in coffee mugs, she’s written a book…If it’s brownies your love likes, they will love Luv’s Brownies.
4. Candy. Believe it or not, candy (namely chocolate) is still an all time favorite for Valentine’s Day. No longer is it just Lammes or Russell Stover’s. If you go to Candygram.com, you can order a wide range of candy items and have them shipped directly to your honey. Won’t that be a nice little “pick me up” to their day at the office??
5. Massage. Okay, this is if you want to spend a little change. Now if you’re feeling the love, you’ll arrange to have a local massage therapist come out to your home and give your honey a relaxing massage. But if you’re like me, no one is allowed to be massaged in my home without me! Solution, order a couple’s massage. It’s really great. 2 massage therapists arrive at your home, will bring their tables and you and your honey can be massaged at the same time. If that’s too pricey, you can still have the massage therapist do you both in tandem. In any event, it’s sure to please!!
6. Pajamagram. My husband ordered me one of these a couple of years ago, I think for my birthday and I got a real kick out of it. Pajamagram.com has a whole catalogue of pajamas that you can order and they will ship them in the cutest boxes, sometimes with cute little accessories and all. Wouldn’t your honey look cute in a pair of boxers??? You may not be able to “touch” but hey, a little eye candy never hurt anyone!
7. Personal Chef Services. There’s nothing like a really good home cooked meal. Now that you are on bed rest, you can’t give your honey that special “luvin’ from the oven!” But a personal chef can do that and more. After a consultation (and this can be done over the phone!) the chef will go grocery shopping, arrive at your home with their own cutlery and cookware, cook a sumptuous dinner and prepare it for service. Many personal chefs will also bring table cloths, china, flatware, candles….Check in the catering sections of your local listing to see if there are personal chefs in your area and see what types of services they offer.  Bon Appetit!
8. Portrait Photography. If this is your first baby, this will be the last time you and your partner will be a “duo” for many years to come. Why not capture the moment? There are many photographers that specialize in  pregnancy photography, of if you prefer, you can do something a bit more formal of you and your partner. If your children are anything like mine, they’ll enjoy looking at such photos of themselves in “mama’s tummy.”
9. Write love letters to one another. With all of the hoopla surrounding your pregnancy and ensuing bed rest, it’s easy to forget that it was love that brought you to this very moment in time.  Take a moment to remember those things that made you fall in love with your partner; a smile, a laugh, special times spent together. Write them all down in a keepsake letter. Choose beautiful paper and perhaps a spritz of your favorite perfume or oil. It’s guaranteed to be something they’ll cherish.

Tags: bed rest, comfort, dads, massage, Relationships, Resources
Posted in Keep Busy on Bed rest, Relationships, Resources | No Comments »

High Risk, On Bed Rest, You Still Have Delivery Options

Having a high risk pregnancy and being on prescribed bed rest does not mean that a woman doesn’t have delivery options. I was just reading a comment on another website from a woman who had read my post “To C or not to C That was the Question.” She shared her story of how she had had a cesarean section with her first child and then her doctor had allowed her to have a VBAC with her second child.  Her second pregnancy had been miserable and she had considered requesting a cesarean for the birth. However,  she decided to follow her doctor’s recommendation; he believed that she could deliver naturally so she did. She does not appear to have had medical complications but it was a difficult delivery that she still vividly recalls some 16 years later!

Why is it that women, especially high risk pregnant women, on bed rest or not, cede their power to their obstetricians? I am not pointing fingers here, I did the same thing myself. But I am wondering why we do it? Fear. Having a high risk pregnancy carries with it a whole host of fears and worries. Many of us who have high risk pregnancies have tried or have been trying for a long time to conceive. Many of us have lost previous pregnancies via miscarriage or stillbirths. We may have undergone assisted reproductive procedures (in vitro and others) in order to conceive. We’re here, finally, with a viable pregnancy, and now this pregnancy may be in jeopardy. In desperation, we’ll do anything. At one point during my first pregnancy I remember thinking, “I’ll  spin on my head and pull this baby out of my nose if I have to!” I was that desperate-and that afraid.

I have since learned, even if you are having a high risk pregnancy, you have options regarding your delivery. Here are 7 points to consider as you prepare for your delivery:

• What factors make Cesarean Section Necessary? Just because your pregnancy is high risk doesn’t mean that a cesarean section is imminent. Even if you are having multiples, you don’t necessarily have to have a cesarean section. The indications or cesarean section are if the mother’s and/or baby’s life are in danger. In our culture we have moved towards “preemptive” cesarean sections to “avoid any potential complications.” Every pregnant woman needs to keep in mind that a cesarean section is major abdominal surgery and carries with it its own risks and potential complications. If you want to try to have a vaginal birth, and there are reasonable indications that this could be successful, clearly and definitively make your wishes known to your doctor and see if you can come up with a solution that will enable you to at least try vaginal delivery.

• Will  I have to be induced? We know that the vast majority of inductions end in cesarean section. If your physician is recommending that you be induced, ask specifically why this needs to happen. I s the baby in danger? Is your health at risk? What is he/she looking to accomplish and what do they think will be the expected outcome? Having this information will allow you to communicate any fears or objections and to reach a peaceable agreement on your delivery.

• The Epidural. An epidural is a type of anesthetic that is injected into the spinal cavity between vertebrae in the lower back to numb  you from the waist down. Some birth educators and women say that an epidural slows labor and makes it difficult to push because you can’t feel the contractions. Others say that it’s a way to be able to withstand the discomforts of labor and delivery. Whatever your decision, know your doctor’s opinion on epidurals and other pain management. Some doctors won’t have women in labor without an epidural. Others are more flexible. Also know that there is a certain time when epidurals are administered and if you progress further than that point, you may not be able to have the epidural.

• Episiotomy. An episiotomy is a surgical cut in the perineum made my your doctor so that you won’t experience a “traumatic tear” during delivery. The necessity of episotomies is controversial. Discuss with your obstetrician their philosophy regarding episotomies and whether or not they think an episiotomy will be necessary.

• Infant Care. This is one area where I wish I had asked more questions. While having a high risk pregnancy doesn’t automatically mean that your newborn will have complications, you may in fact have a higher likelihood of having complications and your baby requiring intensive care. I never even contemplated that there would be complications with my baby and was completely unprepared when she was whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). The NICU is a very intense unit and if at all possible, get some information about it before you deliver and visit. It can be a scary place, but the people who care for such little treasures are very special and are your best advocates if you need them.

• Educate yourself. You may not be able to attend a birthing class at a hospital, but you can read information and watch videos, perfect skills for online birthing classes. Some high risk pregnant women dismiss birthing classes feeling that they won’t be able to use any of the skills. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Knowing what you may face and being able to prepare goes a long way to a smooth birth.

• Communication is Key. A high risk pregnancy that has resulted in prolonged bed rest doesn’t mean that you don’t have options. Many obstetricians have a predetermined “protocol” as to how they manage various situations, and yet they are not averse to making changes. If there is something that you would like, make your wishes known. You may not get everything, but you’ll get more of what you want if you ask.

Tags: bed rest, Cesarean Section, delivery, Epidural, Episiotomy, Labor, pregnancy
Posted in Journey to Motherhood, Keep Busy on Bed rest, Labor and Delivery, Resources | 1 Comment »

Creating Holiday Cheer

The holiday season is in full swing, and you, a mama on bed rest, may not be feeling full of Yule tide cheer. Bed rest is never in any woman’s plans for her pregnancy and it can be particularly difficult during the holidays.  But just because you are on bed rest doesn’t mean that you can’t fully participate in and enjoy the holiday season. In fact, you have the chance to make this the best holiday season ever! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or another holiday tradition, this is the year that you can “do it up right”! Think about it, you have more time than ever before to prepare for the holidays and add those special “personal touches” you’ve always meant to add but never quite had time to do. This year with a baby on the way, do something extra special to commemorate this time. Here are 6 things that you can do to make this holiday season, the holiday season that you spent on bed rest, the best and most memorable ever!

1. Cheer up your surrounding.  First and foremost, holiday up your surroundings! Have family or friends help you gather up some holiday items and decorate your space. Garland around your windows, a small spruce plant or tree in your room, a candelabra or even lights will make you feel more festive. If you have older children, have them help by drawing pictures, making decorative chains out of popcorn and cranberries, construction paper, beads or whatever you happen to have handy. This will certainly create holiday memories.

2. Plan a holiday celebration. Now that your room is all decorated, take the celebration of your holiday to a new level. Read the history behind your particular holiday tradition and plan an extra special celebration of the holiday this year. Invite family and friends to join in.

3. Take the time to write meaningful notes in all of your holiday cards. My own guilt is showing here. Holiday greeting cards have become yet “one more thing” that I have to do, so much so that I now have our names printed on the inside of the cards to save time. This year, since you have time, think about everyone on your greeting card list. Have you seen them recently? Are they in good health? Have they lost a loved one this year? A job?? This year, really take the time to connect with them and show some interest in their lives. You’ll be amazed at how much cheer you, from your bed, will bring to them.

4. Make gifts.  You can’t get to the mall, So what? It’s over crowded and over priced anyway. Sure, you can shop online but with your extra time, why not create gifts for friends and family members that can really show how much you appreciate them. If you have the talent, draw or paint pictures. Rework some old photos on your computer and have them printed and frame. Knit, Crochet, sew or stitch personal items. Write a poem. Whatever your talent, share it with those that you love.

5. Create creative gift wrappings. Again, I’m notorious for grabbing one of those 5 roll packs on my way to the check out line. But perhaps you might want to try  creating really beautiful wrappings and baskets for your gifts. You can use beautiful ribbons and bows, buttons and beads, paints and stamps as well as pine cones, acorns leaves or twigs. The wrapping can reflect either your personality or that of the person for whom the gift is. Either way, it will make for a very special delivery.

6. Capture it all for baby. And let’s not forget our little guest (or guests) of honor! This is officially baby’s first holiday. Why not capture it and share it with the baby at a later time? This is a great time to scrapbook, to start an online blog or video journal. Record every little detail of the holiday; start with where you are and why, who is present, what are you celebrating, how are you celebrating and what does it mean? This can be one of the most intimate gifts that you create and share with your child, one that they can cherish for the rest of their lives.

I hope this gives you some ideas on how you, a mama on bed rest can enjoy and take an active part in the holiday season. From one mama to many others, Happy Holidays!!

Furoshiki Gift Wrap Images are taken from the Inhabitat Website. This silk reusable gift wrap is part of the Biota Collection. For more information visit the Inhabitat website at www.inhabitat.com

Baby Keepsake Book photo courtesy of Keepsake Books. Keepsake Books can be ordered at www.keepsakebooks.net.

Tags: bed rest, Surviving bed rest
Posted in Keep Busy on Bed rest, Surviving bed rest | No Comments »