Motherhood later
Mamas on Bedrest: Babies or Bankruptcy?
December 9th, 2011They are e-mails that just break my heart.
“I have just learned that I am pregnant with triplets and have been put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. This is a huge financial blow as we were living paycheck to paycheck when I was working and barely making it. We didn’t plan this pregnancy, and we knew that it would be a financial stretch. But Triplets??? I am completely overwhelmed! I have no idea how we’ll make it.”
At a time when this mama to be should be experiencing great joy, she is instead overwhelmed and quite possibly panicked. More and more I see couples delaying childbearing or abandoning the families of their dreams due to finances. But sometimes, as the above e-mail illustrates, life just throws you a curve.
While the decision to have a child is a very personal one, in the United States, without paid family leave, its becoming a luxury. That’s not to say that people aren’t having babies. But more and more, having a child is an additional burden that many couples are woefully unprepared for. Now granted, triplets are not common and are almost always a surprise to the parents to be. But something like bed rest is common (and increasingly more with women waiting later to have children, fertility issues, etc..) yet it catches most couples unaware and unprepared. So what should a couple do when a pregnancy presents unexpected circumstances that create a financial burden?
First and foremost, take a deep breath. Okay, have your meltdown first, then take a deep breath. Surely things seem overwhelmingly bleak, but you can survive. Hundreds to thousands of couples have weathered complicated pregnancies, multiple pregnancies, bed rest, complicated labors and deliveries, NICU babies and survived. Truth be told, many couples have been devastated financially. But others have actually survived the storm. How? Here are 3 steps to take to get a realistic assessment of your finances as you approach your pregnancy.
- Make a list of all your monthly income, every dime you receive.
- Make a list of all your monthly expenses. As much as possible, list everything that you spend money on from bills, to gas, to gifts to “that morning latte”.
- Make a list of all of your outstanding debt; mortgage, car notes, school loans, credit card debt and the like.
Once you make these lists, you’ll have a clearer picture of how much money you make, how much money you owe and how much money you spend. The task then becomes separating the essentials from the non-essentials. Rent/mortgage is an essential. Daily lattes or lunch out is not. Where can you trim? Couples will have to look at everything and make some tough decisions. I can recall one couple who was having financial difficulties when mama went on bed rest. For them, one solution was to move back in with parents. Was it their first choice? Most certainly not! But they saved a lot of money on rent and utilities and also, since the parents were retired, mama had a lot of care and support while on bed rest.
Pregnancy can present some unique challenges, especially when they are multiple and/or high risk. Couples will have to be creative when it comes to finding solutions to managing the financial burden these challenges bring.
Over the next several blog posts, we’ll share various tips we’ve learned about financing bed rest. We want your input. What are your financial concerns? What has worked for you financially? Share your story below as it will most certainly benefit another mama.
Mamas on Bedrest: 1st Time Mamas over 45 Can Expect Complications
April 19th, 2011Being an older mama myself, I am always a bit sensitive when I see reports indicating the problems and complications associated with being an older mama. So when I read this Reuter’s Health Report on Medscape my heart went out to older women desiring to and having children.
I want to add that while this report states that pregnancy is more risky for older moms, in this case, having their first child over the age of 45, it’s not impossible. Even if a woman is not able to carry her own child, there are surrogates (women who will donate an egg to a pregnancy and then carry the pregnancy) as well as gestational hosts (women who will carry a child for a couple) and adoption. Older women can have the children their hearts desire.
The study was conducted in Israel and found that pregnancy and childbirth in Israeli women over age 45 has nearly tripled over the last decade. The study looked at 131 mothers ranging in age from 45 to 65 who gave birth between 2004 and 2008. Forty percent developed gestational diabetes and 20% had preeclampsia. One third of the babies were born prematurely and nearly all were delivered by cesarean section. All but 5 of the women had become pregnant with assisted reproductive technologies.
Why is it so much more difficult to have a child, especially a first child, over that age of 45? First and foremost there are the physiological changes going on with a woman. If a woman has never been pregnant, the quality and number of eggs that her ovaries will produce will be lowered. At 45 years old many women are approaching menopause and their bodies are responding to hormonal fluctuations. In particular, she may have uterine changes such that she is unable to sustain a pregnancy. Women are also at risk of having developed hypertension and Type II diabetes by age 45. Researchers in this study recommend counseling against pregnancy if an older woman already has a pre-existing condition.
While the researchers acknowledged the increased risk to older mothers and their babies (increased risk of being born prematurely, at a lower birth weight, requiring intensive care in NICU and having developmental problems) they did not make being over age 45 and absolute contraindication to attempting pregnancy.
I can attest to the fact that the older you are having children, the more risk there is to you and your baby. My first pregnancy at age 35 ended in miscarriage. The second was high risk, fraught with complications and resulted in my daughter being born at 36 weeks and 6 days at 5 lbs 3 oz. I miscarried my 3rd pregnancy at age 38 and had my son, my 4th and last pregnancy at 40 yrs and 4 months. So I was not as old as the women in the study in Israel yet did experience more complications than women say 5-10 years younger than I was at each age. If I had it all to do over again, would I? Absolutely, but I have to admit that I would do it a lot smarter.
Before each pregnancy I would engage in a 3 month pre-conception “conditioning program” where I’d take exquisite care of myself; priming my body with exceptional herbs and supplements, getting lots of rest, making sure that I was at ideal body weight for my height and that I was fibroid free. In preparation for complications, I’d have a support system in place-either my mother, mother in law or friends in the community at the ready and available to assist me with my activities (especially with my second/fourth pregnancy with my son where I had a 3 1/2 year old to take care of as well).
As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. I didn’t do any of these things, but I made it my mission to do for other women what I did not do for myself and hence Bedrest Fitness and Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond were created. If you are an older woman and have decided to pursue pregnancy, we would love to support you in your endeavors. So that we can assist you to plan your pregnancy and (hopefully ) avoid bed rest or at the very least, minimize the trauma/drama, sign up for a Complimentary 30 minute Bedrest Breakthrough Session. We’ll go over potential pitfalls of being an older pregnant mama and offer tips to minimize them.To schedule, send an e-mail to info@mamasonbedrest.com.
While complications are expected the older a mama is having her babies, they aren’t mandatory and they don’t have to be horrendous. As researchers in the Israeli study pointed out, “Starting motherhood at an advanced age may carry risks, but they’re not prohibitive risks. People of all ages are interested in having a child and completing their families.”
Bedrest Coach Darline Turner-Lee had her daughter at age 37 and son at age 40.
Mamas on Bedrest:Older & Black Women More Likely to Die From Ectopic Pregnancy.
March 28th, 2011Older women and African American Women are more likely to experience and die from ectopic pregnancies than other groups of women.
The April 2011 issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology has published a retrospective study analyzing rates of ectopic pregnancy and deaths from ectopic pregnancy from 1980 to 1997. Researchers analyzed nation-wide records of all births and deaths between 1980 and 2007. The good news is that death rates from ectopic pregnancy dropped from 1/90,000 in the early 1980’s to 1/200,000 in 1997. The not so good news is that older women over age 35 had a 3-4 fold increase of dying from ectopic pregnancy than a woman 25 or younger. Even worse, African American women of all ages are 7 times more likely to die from complications of an ectopic pregnancy than their white counterparts. The study was headed by Dr. Andreea Creanga from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The declines in deaths from ectopic pregnancies was not entirely a surprise. With improved prenatal care and advances in ultrasound technology, ectopic pregnancies are detected early and the complications (including deaths) are subsequently averted. Likewise, researchers were not surprised at the higher number of ectopic deaths in older women as there are physiologic changes in the fallopian tubes as a woman ages. But researchers were not at all prepared for the gaping difference in ectopic death rates between African American women and white women, and they have no concrete explanation for the disparity.
In a editorial published in Reuters, Kurt Barnhart, MD, an obstetrician at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine in Philadelphia commented on the study and noted that many inner city women have difficulty accessing prenatal care and even when care is available, they often have difficulty getting to prenatal appointments. As many African American women are in this situation, they start prenatal care later than their white counterparts. ”The key to cutting down the risks of ectopic pregnancies is to catch them in the first 2 months – after that, the chances of severe complications go way up,” Barnhart said.
Barnhardt and Creanga agree that this study must be one of many in evaluating death rates as a result of ectopic pregnancy. In the mean time, both suggest that women seek prenatal care as soon as possible after learning of a positive pregnancy, and that women know the signs and symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy and seek medical care immediately when symptoms are noted. Barnhardt and Creanga also encourage health care providers to have a low index of suspicion for ectopic pregnancy, and to evaluate for ectopic pregnancy sooner rather than later when a woman complains of symptoms because of the risk of death if treatment is delayed.
Sources
Signs and Symptoms of an Ectopic Pregnancy
Early signs and symptoms may be the same as those of any pregnancy
- a missed period
- breast tenderness
- nausea and fatigue
The first warning signs of an ectopic pregnancy often include
- Light vaginal bleeding
- Lower abdominal pain
- Cramping on one side of the pelvis
If the fallopian tube ruptures, symptoms may include
- Sharp, stabbing pain in the pelvis, abdomen, or even the shoulder and neck
- Dizziness
- Lightheadedness
Contact your obstetrics care provider or call 911 if you have
- Severe abdominal pain
- Heavy vaginal bleeding
- Shoulder pain
- A strong urge to defecate without results
- Extreme lightheadedness, fainting or shock
