Resources
9 Ways a Mama on Bed Rest can Say “I Love You!” this V-Day
February 11th, 2010
Let’s face it, bed rest is a killer to your love life. All month I have been offering ways for you and your partner to “Keep the Love Alive”. Now here we are, just a few days from Valentine’s Day, and you may be thinking, “Shoot, I’m stuck here on bed rest. How can I make this day special?”
Well, I’m glad that you asked. Sitting over breakfast I too was thinking of how to make this a special day for my own “hunny bunny”. As per usual, I am running late for the train, so I was thinking of things that I could order for quick delivery. So here are 9 ideas that I came up with over my breakfast taco and chai tea. If you use one for your “hunny” send a comment and let me know how it turned out!!
9 Valentine Ideas for Mamas on Bedrest to share with their partners
- Send flowers. Yeah, kinda screams “I forgot” but at least you remembered in time to order something.
- Edible Arrangement. The company that bears the name will deliver a beautiful arrangement composed of fruit. If you choose certain arrangements, you can have chocolate dipped fruit (strawberries, bananas, etc…) or hunks of chocolate on skewers added to the arrangements. www.ediblearrangements.com
- Luv’s Brownies. I add this one because it belongs to a friend out in my beloved San Jose, CA. Aundrea Lacey is the owner and founder of Luv’s brownies (www.luvsbrownies.com) and has taken brownies to another level. You can order brownie cakes, brownies in coffee mugs, she’s written a book…If it’s brownies your love likes, they will love Luv’s Brownies.
- Candy. Believe it or not, candy (namely chocolate) is still an all time favorite for Valentine’s Day. No longer is it just Lammes or Russell Stover’s. If you go to Candygram.com, you can order a wide range of candy items and have them shipped directly to your honey. Won’t that be a nice little “pick me up” to their day at the office??
- Massage. Okay, this is if you want to spend a little change. Now if you’re feeling the love, you’ll arrange to have a local massage therapist come out to your home and give your honey a relaxing massage. But if you’re like me, no one is allowed to be massaged in my home without me! Solution, order a couple’s massage. It’s really great. 2 massage therapists arrive at your home, will bring their tables and you and your honey can be massaged at the same time. If that’s too pricey, you can still have the massage therapist do you both in tandem. In any event, it’s sure to please!!
- Pajamagram. My husband ordered me one of these a couple of years ago, I think for my birthday and I got a real kick out of it. Pajamagram.com has a whole catalogue of pajamas that you can order and they will ship them in the cutest boxes, sometimes with cute little accessories and all. Wouldn’t your honey look cute in a pair of boxers??? You may not be able to “touch” but hey, a little eye candy never hurt anyone!
- Personal Chef Services. There’s nothing like a really good home cooked meal. Now that you are on bed rest, you can’t give your honey that special “luvin’ from the oven!” But a personal chef can do that and more. After a consultation (and this can be done over the phone!) the chef will go grocery shopping, arrive at your home with their own cutlery and cookware, cook a sumptuous dinner and prepare it for service. Many personal chefs will also bring table cloths, china, flatware, candles….Check in the catering sections of your local listing to see if there are personal chefs in your area and see what types of services they offer. Bon Appetit!
- Portrait Photography. If this is your first baby, this will be the last time you and your partner will be a “duo” for many years to come. Why not capture the moment? There are many photographers that specialize in pregnancy photography, of if you prefer, you can do something a bit more formal of you and your partner. If your children are anything like mine, they’ll enjoy looking at such photos of themselves in “mama’s tummy.”
- Write love letters to one another. With all of the hoopla surrounding your pregnancy and ensuing bed rest, it’s easy to forget that it was love that brought you to this very moment in time. Take a moment to remember those things that made you fall in love with your partner; a smile, a laugh, special times spent together. Write them all down in a keepsake letter. Choose beautiful paper and perhaps a spritz of your favorite perfume or oil. It’s guaranteed to be something they’ll cherish.
High Risk, On Bed Rest, You Still Have Delivery Options
January 26th, 2010
Having a high risk pregnancy and being on prescribed bed rest does not mean that a woman doesn’t have delivery options. I was just reading a comment on another website from a woman who had read my post “To C or not to C That was the Question.” She shared her story of how she had had a cesarean section with her first child and then her doctor had allowed her to have a VBAC with her second child. Her second pregnancy had been miserable and she had considered requesting a cesarean for the birth. However, she decided to follow her doctor’s recommendation; he believed that she could deliver naturally so she did. She does not appear to have had medical complications but it was a difficult delivery that she still vividly recalls some 16 years later!
Why is it that women, especially high risk pregnant women, on bed rest or not, cede their power to their obstetricians? I am not pointing fingers here, I did the same thing myself. But I am wondering why we do it? Fear. Having a high risk pregnancy carries with it a whole host of fears and worries. Many of us who have high risk pregnancies have tried or have been trying for a long time to conceive. Many of us have lost previous pregnancies via miscarriage or stillbirths. We may have undergone assisted reproductive procedures (in vitro and others) in order to conceive. We’re here, finally, with a viable pregnancy, and now this pregnancy may be in jeopardy. In desperation, we’ll do anything. At one point during my first pregnancy I remember thinking, “I’ll spin on my head and pull this baby out of my nose if I have to!” I was that desperate-and that afraid.
I have since learned, even if you are having a high risk pregnancy, you have options regarding your delivery. Here are 7 points to consider as you prepare for your delivery:
- What factors make Cesarean Section Necessary? Just because your pregnancy is high risk doesn’t mean that a cesarean section is imminent. Even if you are having multiples, you don’t necessarily have to have a cesarean section. The indications or cesarean section are if the mother’s and/or baby’s life are in danger. In our culture we have moved towards “preemptive” cesarean sections to “avoid any potential complications.” Every pregnant woman needs to keep in mind that a cesarean section is major abdominal surgery and carries with it its own risks and potential complications. If you want to try to have a vaginal birth, and there are reasonable indications that this could be successful, clearly and definitively make your wishes known to your doctor and see if you can come up with a solution that will enable you to at least try vaginal delivery.
- Will I have to be induced? We know that the vast majority of inductions end in cesarean section. If your physician is recommending that you be induced, ask specifically why this needs to happen. I s the baby in danger? Is your health at risk? What is he/she looking to accomplish and what do they think will be the expected outcome? Having this information will allow you to communicate any fears or objections and to reach a peaceable agreement on your delivery.
- The Epidural. An epidural is a type of anesthetic that is injected into the spinal cavity between vertebrae in the lower back to numb you from the waist down. Some birth educators and women say that an epidural slows labor and makes it difficult to push because you can’t feel the contractions. Others say that it’s a way to be able to withstand the discomforts of labor and delivery. Whatever your decision, know your doctor’s opinion on epidurals and other pain management. Some doctors won’t have women in labor without an epidural. Others are more flexible. Also know that there is a certain time when epidurals are administered and if you progress further than that point, you may not be able to have the epidural.
- Episiotomy. An episiotomy is a surgical cut in the perineum made my your doctor so that you won’t experience a “traumatic tear” during delivery. The necessity of episotomies is controversial. Discuss with your obstetrician their philosophy regarding episotomies and whether or not they think an episiotomy will be necessary.
- Infant Care. This is one area where I wish I had asked more questions. While having a high risk pregnancy doesn’t automatically mean that your newborn will have complications, you may in fact have a higher likelihood of having complications and your baby requiring intensive care. I never even contemplated that there would be complications with my baby and was completely unprepared when she was whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). The NICU is a very intense unit and if at all possible, get some information about it before you deliver and visit. It can be a scary place, but the people who care for such little treasures are very special and are your best advocates if you need them.
- Educate yourself. You may not be able to attend a birthing class at a hospital, but you can read information and watch videos, perfect skills for online birthing classes. Some high risk pregnant women dismiss birthing classes feeling that they won’t be able to use any of the skills. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Knowing what you may face and being able to prepare goes a long way to a smooth birth.
- Communication is Key. A high risk pregnancy that has resulted in prolonged bed rest doesn’t mean that you don’t have options. Many obstetricians have a predetermined “protocol” as to how they manage various situations, and yet they are not averse to making changes. If there is something that you would like, make your wishes known. You may not get everything, but you’ll get more of what you want if you ask.
The Work at Home Woman
December 24th, 2009I made a conscious decision to stay at home after I had children. Since I married late (I was 35 when I got married), my husband and I reviewed our finances and, although we would not have a lot of extra income, we decided that we could afford if I didn’t work. I had suspected that I would have some trouble having children and the complicated road to having my 2 children lived up to my expectations. After two high risk pregnancies, threats of bed rest and a preterm labor with my first, I wanted to care for and raise my babies myself.
Prior to my daughter’s (my first) birth , I worked as a personal trainer and woman’s health consultant. After her birth and all the complications with my pregnancy I really began to focus on prenatal and post partum exercise, health and wellness. What I found was that trying to grow such a service, to be available to my clients as well as to my daughter proved nearly impossible. To keep afloat I began writing health care columns for local publications. Writing offered me the opportunity to work and earn some money, to provide comfort, information and support to other women and, most importantly, to be completely available for my daughter.
The work at home concept was just emerging when I had my daughter back in 2002. There weren’t the websites and support groups nor even the term “mompreneur” back then. People were just beginning to explore more flexible work arrangements and “work/life balance” was just gaining momentum. Women were just beginning to question and explore how they could work and help provide income for their families while still providing the bulk of the care for their children. Over the years some women have excelled at the work at home concept and one such person is Holly Hanna, owner and founder of a website called The Work At Home Woman. 
The Work at Home Woman website is a veritable plethora of information on working from home. The website contains information and questionnaires to help women decide if working from home is for them. There are pages and pages of resources on how to get started working from home, lists of various careers that lend themselves to working from home and how to set up your own home-based business. I visit this website often and each time gain valuable information I use to improve my now home based business. The Work at Home Woman has taken all the mystery and difficulty out of starting your own home based business.
As a mama on bed rest you may be wrestling with what to do with your job or career when your baby is born. After all you’ve gone through to have your little one, it’s completely natural to have reservations about leaving your child with another caregiver. Take comfort in the fact that you do have options. It may be necessary for you to work in order to help support your family, but now you can work and help support your family while at the same time caring for your child full time or at least the majority of the time.
If you do decide to work from home, I highly recommend that you visit The Work at Home Woman website. With it’s wealth of information and resources, you’ll be able to start your home based career on a solid foundation and successfully grow your career or business to suite you and your family’s needs.
Visit The Work at Home Woman website at www.theworkathomewoman.com
