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Mamas on Bedrest: 4 Must Haves for Bed Rest
February 2nd, 2012Recently I was contacted by a writer for the Huffington Post (yes, we’re headed for the big time, Mamas!!) and was asked,
“What would you consider essential for a mama on bed rest?”
I didn’t have to think very hard. Beyond a computer for internet access, a tv and remote control and handy snacks, there are 4 things that I believe EVERY mama on bed rest needs. Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, consider giving mama one of these “Must Haves” to better her bed rest.
Help. While issues such as bleeding and preterm labor can occur emergently, the bed rest prescription often comes out of the blue and as a complete surprise to mamas. A mama arrives at the OB for what she thinks is a routine office visit, a complication is noted and then she is either sent home on bed rest or admitted to the hospital. From that point on, she is in reaction mode. She has to deal with her job, make arrangements for childcare, make arrangements for household care….Mama needs help. If you can assist mama with childcare, house keeping, shopping, or managing any of her other myriad of obligations, you will be bringing mama much needed relief.
Body Pillow. Pillow support is a must for mamas on bed rest. At any given time I had about 6 pillows wedged around me, including a full body pillow, my “main squeeze” at the time. (Didn’t leave much room for the husband, but I was comfy!!) Body pillows have come a long way since my pregnancies but one that I like is sold by Special Addition Maternity and Nursing Store called the Snoogle (R). This large c-shaped pillow is long enough so that mama can wrap herself around the pillow and support her knees, hips, belly and neck. It is reasonably priced and can be shipped just about anywhere. Covers for Snoogles are also available. For tips on how to best position yourself while on bed rest, check out our on the subject.
Massage. Contrary to popular belief, being on bed rest is not fun nor is it restful or comfortable. Even with a body pillow for support, mamas develop various aches, pains and stiffness. Additionally, since they are not very mobile, they don’t have their usual circulation and may develop distal extremity swelling. If at all possible, I recommend that mamas on bed rest have massages at least once a month-2 times a month or even weekly if possible (but that can be pricey, I know!!). A skilled prenatal massage therapist can not only soothe mama’s sore and achey muscles, she can stimulate circulation so that blood is flowing back up towards the heart and reduce swelling-especially in mama’s lower legs and feet. A skilled massage therapist can also massage to stimulate lymphatic drainage, again moving fluid out of the distal extremities (hands and feet) where it tends to pool.
Bedrest Fitness. Mamas on bed rest, like all mamas need to move. The problem is they are on restricted activity so most mamas have no idea what they can do. When I was facing bed rest, this was one of my major concerns, especially since I was a prenatal fitness instructor. So I produced Bedrest Fitness, a set of modified prenatal exercises for women on prescribed bed rest. To see a sample of what Bedrest Fitness is all about, click here. You can purchase a copy here.
So those are the 4 “Must Haves” for Mamas on Bedrest. Of course there are other things that will only make her bed rest situation better, but the aforementioned items are the minimum. Mamas, what are your “Must Haves” for a better bed rest? Be the first to Share your comments below and receive a gift card. We’d love to hear from you and your suggestion may be just what another mama needs.
Mamas on Bedrest: Mama’s “Dream Team”
January 12th, 2012As the debate over who is the better provide of peripartum care wages on, I often wonder, has anyone ever stopped to consider what mamas want? What are mamas’ ideas of the “perfect birth scenario?” What would constitute a birth “Dream Team?” I have often contemplated what would have been my dream scenario (not that anyone ever asked me!!)? If I had to do it all over again and could have things organized around what would have served and soothed me, this would have been my “Dream Team”.
AntePartum Doula. For both of my pregnancies, especially my first, I would have loved to have had someone come to my home, perhaps once or twice a week and check on me. One of the main reasons that I was so reluctant to go on bed rest and pushed back against it was because during my first pregnancy, I was completely on my own (my husband travels for work) and for my second, I was on my own with a 3 year old. How nice it would have been to have folks stopping by, helping out around the house and making sure that I had any and all supplies that I needed. Had I been on full bed rest, helping me to be comfortable, helping me to exercise my muscles and providing massage would have also been greatly appreciated.
Birth Doula. I sort of had this my second go round (We flew in my sister and she was a HUGE source of support and relief!!), but the first time, things went south very quickly and both my husband and I could have used some support in the delivery OR. While I was bleeding profusely (don’t know if they classified it as hemorrhaged, but it wasn’t pretty) immediately post partum, to have had someone that I knew and trusted to help me calm down (they had whisked my daughter away and I was a raving maniac!!), someone who could have told me what was going on, someone to convey that I was in great pain and got me the relief that I needed immediately and not 6 hours later would have been great. I think that incessant emesis and screaming should have been a clue, but it didn’t get me any relief, so I am thinking verbal requests might have worked better.
Midwife AND Obstetrician. I think that both should be present! In the case of my daughter, things went south pretty quickly, so the obstetrician would have definitely been in command. But for my second birth, I think it would have been nice to have a trial of labor with a midwife, with an OB standing (very close) by. I had a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks, my cervix was totally closed and I had no hint of labor. While my son was and is totally fine, I think he and I both were strong enough to have “gone the distance” for a VBAC. But I guess hindsight is 20/20. I wonder if I had had a skilled midwife present could I have at least tried labor? Hmmm.
Lactation Consultant. The hospital in which I delivered my daughter (my first delivery) did well with this one and I really liked this lady! The neonatologist was all gunho on giving my daughter formula because she was unable to latch initially and she could not breathe and suck (her O2 saturation would drop into the mid to low 80’s). I refused. I wanted her to have breastmilk, but mine wasn’t in yet. The neonatologist was insisting on formula so that they could measue exactly how much my baby was getting. A very wonderful Lactation consultant arrived and asked, “Why hasn’t this mama been given a breast pump and offered donor breastmilk?” Everyone in the NICU kind of looked at her like, “Curses, foiled again!” but by the end of the day, I had a breast pump and was pumping out small amounts of colostrum and my daughter had a bottle of donor breast milk which was all we needed until my milk came in. This lovely woman also showed me the best ways to help my daughter to latch on so that she didn’t desaturate as much (just into the low 90’s) and her monitors didn’t all sceech and holler when I held her.
Social Support/Discharge Planning. Now I know that some of you reading this will say, “But most hospitals have social workers.” This is true. But neither time I delivered in either hospital (my children were born in two different hospitals) did a social worker come in and see if there was any support that I needed at home, did I have any questions or if I had any concerns. No one gave me any instructions on wound care for my c-section incisions and no one gave me, “If this happens, come back immediately” instructions or anything on the signs and symptoms of post partum depression. Interestingly, a social worker did come into my room when I had my son to offer me Medicare and WIC (foodstamps) papers. (Obviously she hadn’t read my chart and seen that I had private insurance or a well employed husband, but had merely seen “my face” and had made some pretty biases-okay, racist- assumptions. But I’ll leave that discussion for another post!)
Post Partum (Home Doula). I really needed this, especially after my second delivery! While my sister attended my birth, she had to leave the very next day. (I wasn’t even out of the hospital!) I was in the hospital most of the week following my c-section. When I went home, my parents were there, but they had already been there a week and only stayed two more. So at 3 weeks post partum, still sore and achey, I got up, got my 2 little ones ready and drove my parents to the airport. (Husband had already set off on another business trip!) I have to admit, my response timing was off and I really couldn’t adequately feel my feet to drive but I did it. And at 3 weeks post partum, I was on my own with 2 little people. At that time, I didn’t know about doulas and no one suggested one to me. A few friends stopped by, but for the most part, I was on my own. A doula would have been a Godsend! Post partum follow up is the norm in many countries. I truly believe that it needs to be standard of care in the United States!
So this would have been my dream team. This is actually the reality in many countries. Women in many countries receive this type of perinatal care as routine, and it’s covered by (often universal) insurance. Sadly, this level of care isn’t available to everyone in the US, only via private pay, so often women who need it most are least able to afford the assistance. Thankfully many doulas are able to fulfill the intrapartum, post partum and lactation duties, so you really get 3 rolled up into one. But we have a long way to go!
Few practices utilize both Obstetricians and midwives in the US. To me, this is where we really fall short of providing optimum care. The saying, “It takes a village to raise a child” is approriate because while takes a village to raise the child, it really takes a TEAM to bring the child into the world. It is high time that we all realize that no one provider-Obstetrician or Midwife-is better than the other. They have different skill sets, different strengths and mamas need both available to her as she brings her child (ren) into this world. It is high time that this bickering back and forth STOP and we get about the business of caring for the needs-medical, social and otherwise- of mamas and their babies.
Mamas, what is your ideal “Dream Team”? Do you have it? How can we help you get it? Share your comments below and be sure to subscribe to our RSS feed at the top right corner of this webpage.
Mamas on Bedrest: “2011 A Horrible, Wonderful Year” A Mama’s Triumph Over Adversity
January 4th, 2012Mamas are the most resilient people that I know!
After going through fertility treatments, Paige, @babydust on Twitter and the author of this post, is a mama to a 3 year old little girl and darling twin baby boys. Now a SAHM (stay at home mama), many would think that Paige “lives the life”. But her journey was anything but easy. Paige’s story epitomizes an all too common scenario for Mamas on Bedrest. Yet, despite its troughs and pitfalls, Paige prevailed.
For those of you “going through” I share Paige’s story with you (with her permission) to show you that you are not alone in your trials and to show you that there can be a happy ending. Paige has an awesome blog called Baby Dust Diaries. I highly recommend you take a look. Thank you so much Paige for sharing your story!
2011 A Horrible, Wonderful Year
Ah 2011. What can I say about you? My first reaction is that 2011 SUCKED BIG TIME. I mean at least 70% of the days of this year were some of the hardest of my life. And yet, in all the ways that really matter, you know those ways that will matter in 5, 10, 20 years, 2011 was full of life-changing blessings. I mean I welcomed two baby boys into my family AND I became (at last) a stay at home mom.
I guess the problem was, as will most things, my blessings came with much blood, sweat and tears. I started the year with an extended hospital stay to keep my babies from being born too early. Hospital bedrest is misery. Seriously.
Yet, it was a blessing because it kept my boys a-baking for a crucial extra month!
Even though my eventual goal was to be a SAHM it would probably have taken a few years for my hubby and I to get to that point. And then Psycho Boss (PB) entered the picture. I can’t even describe the continuous harassment I endured at this person’s hands. The examples would be endless and cause me stress just in the remembering. Worse yet, the process that is supposed to protect employees from Pregnancy discrimination failed me miserably. At every turn I had people shocked at the treatment I endured and agreeing that it had to end. Then when I finally sought formal relief it is like the “machine” that was my agency responded by getting its hackles up. Talking about an issue is one thing – actually filing a complaint? In hindsight, the minute I formalized my complaint my career was over. Even if I had won (or especially if I had won) I would have been blacklisted. It became a witch hunt. No one denied the discrimination but everything else became a problem. In the end, a job that I loved and had always been family friendly, ended because I couldn’t attend a 6PM meeting with 3 hours notice. They actually laughed (yes, LAUGHED) when I said I’d need a days notice to change my child care arrangements. It wasn’t about that meeting it was about punishing me for complaining.
Ugh! Enough of that! Just talking about it is going to give me nightmares tonight (luckily the daily nightmares are now just weekly, they’ll go away, right?) My point is that it was demoralizing in the extreme. I couldn’t sleep or eat I had a constant headche and stomach ache. I had no energy to parent. I considered hurting myself although I don’t think I was suicidal. It certainly combined/exacerbated/triggered severe post-partum depression. It was the second worst thing that has ever happened to me.
Yet, I had asked God to help me stay home with my kids and he sure did. The circumstances were less than ideal but I got my wish. I’m sure that 5 years from now I’ll be so glad I quit my job. Maybe I’ll even be thankful for PB? Nah.
An added problem was that I couldn’t talk about any of this on the blog. I get even angrier at PB when I think about him taking away my voice, my outlet. Holding back what was really going on in my life made any writing impossible. You can’t build a partial dam, know what I mean? THEN I got hacked and it felt like a punch in the stomach. Here my one solace – my blog – was being taken away.
Sob. Sob. I know it might sound pathetic but it was a very difficult year. I’m glad it is over and I look forward to looking back on it as a huge transitional point in my life for the better. I also hope to NEVER relive it!
Mamas, you can make it! Our roads are not typically easy, but as Paige shows, they are often well worth the struggle. Congratulations to Paige for her beautiful children and for finally becoming the SAHM she wanted to be.
Would you like to share your Bedrest story with other mamas? We’d love to hear it and share it! Share your story or a link to it at info@mamasonbedrest.com and give us the full attribution so we can credit you. Your stories are what keep other mamas who are still “on the road” trodding.
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